


Layover Mayhem

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Adventure, Airports, Insanity, Mayhem
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-19 01:39:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14226306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Esme hates flying. Everything about flying scares her more than being locked in a small safe at the bottom of the ocean. Maya, on the other hand, loves flying, but has a curse of being late. Two unlikely friends you might say. A long layover and one missed flight, connecting six fucking losers, which in here means ‘musicians’ because the art world is dying thanks to Donald  “McFreaking” Trump, has you wondering how the fuck this happened. Well, a lot can happen in 18 hours. Especially, if you are trying to run from screaming fan girls while pulling a curly haired boy by his ear. With a mutual love of music and drinking, two girls become unlikely friends with international pop sensations. You know them as One Direction, but Esme and Maya know them as Buzzkill, Curly, Tommo-Man, and the Irishman.





	1. Chapter 1: "Old Tunes, New Songs" (Esme POV)

**Author's Note:**

> Italics means the characters are breaking the fourth wall and talking directly to the reader.

_ Look around the room. This small living room is trashed. Streamers and beer bottles litter the floor, a blonde man is face-down-ass-up in the carpet, a guy with short brown hair is laying across the coffee table missing his shirt and his arm with arrow tattoos is hanging down, his hand is resting on the top of another shirtless guy's head. That guy's forehead has 'Tommo-Man!' written in terrible handwriting across it, the culprit is the curly haired guy across the room with the sharpie in his hand. See the girl in the black cargo pants and blue hoodie with the combat boots laying across the midsection of a curly haired boy? The one who looks dead? Yeah? That is me. _

_ I know what you're thinking... 'Why is she dead and laying on top of a passed out Harry Styles?' or maybe 'What the fuck happened here?!' Well you see, that's a long and entertaining story... but let me just start with: I'm not dead. I am just simply passed out drunk, even if I appear dead I assure you I am alive. Now.... To tell you how this happened, I'm going to have to start from the beginning. If at any point this story gets too crazy or you feel like I have triggered you, feel free to shield your eyes or turn off your bright glowy device. If you are disinterested... well fuck you too! _

_ Anywho... The beginning. It all started in an airport. _

 

One of my least favorite things to do is fly. Airplanes scare me and the thought of putting my life in the hands of a nameless man driving a giant metal contraption in the sky scares me more than Jason on Friday the 13th. Then again, this trip is all about getting over my fears. 

I’m what some people would call a nomad, I go wherever the wind carries my soul. Call me a hippie if it’s easier, but I prefer the word Nomad; it has a nice ring to it. Normally I would hitchhike rather than fly but for the first time in my life I have been face with a fork in my path and I don’t like either outcome, boat or plane. I’m headed to Japan to see my little brother who moved there for college and those were my only choices. 

The plane landed with a shake and a shudder and I found myself gripping the arms of the seat, my nails digging into the leather. "We are now entering LAX, there is an 18 hour layover here before you catch your flight to Japan. Please make sure you grab your carry on items and everything from your seat, do not leave anything behind, If you plan to explore the beautiful ‘City of Angels’ please check your bags into Gate 6 to be loaded onto the flight to Japan. Enjoy your stay and thank you for flying LA Air." The nice flight attendant, Barb, said through the intercom. I stood from my seat and looked around with disinterest as people began to pull their luggage down from above, waiting for my turn. Some people smiled as they passed me, others disregarded my existence, and I waited for them to clear out so I could grab my own things.

When the plane was relatively empty I slid out into the aisleway and reached up to grab my own bag. I stood to the side as I pulled it down because I was afraid that the heavy flowery bag would fall on me and as it hit ground I pulled up the handle. Then I grabbed my “purse,” which was really a small satchel, and swung it onto my shoulder, dragging my bag slowly up the empty aisle and walking into the hallway connecting the plane to the terminal gate.

The airplane terminal was much like any other terminal, the bustle of people as they raced for their planes or climbed off them and the loud intercom with short little public service announcements about not forgetting your things in the terminal, however this was different this was a different place that was foreign to me and so I used the big signs above me to navigate myself to Gate 6. IT wasn’t a far walk from the gate I had exited and I found it fairly quickly, carefully taking a seat in the corner and kicking my mud covered combat boots up on the chair next to me.

I glanced around a bit more and decided to entertain myself by pulling out my ukulele from my satchel. I know few chords, but enough to play a short song if I found myself bored, which didn’t happen often. I strummed a few chords and hummed along to my own little song smiling to myself as I did so. Eventually I found myself singing, “No roots to hold me down, no roots in the ground. They try to silence me, but I still have my creativity. Don’t try to hold me down, I won’t be earthbound. I’ve got no roots in the ground, my soul will make sound.” I sang, playing my little song as I went.

Within the hour the airport terminal cleared out and I found myself being the only one left because I decided I was going to stay in the Airport instead of going exploring, but as the space cleared and the silence ensued I became restless. I started tapping my feet and I played my ukulele a bit more, but nothing was helping the feeling of being held in. You can imagine my happiness when I noticed them opening the doors to Gate 5 across the way and they prepared for the people to exit. 

My excitement though was cut short as I notice that only four guys came out carrying their bags and followed by men dressed in black clothes. I figured these guys were some rich people with a private jet and soon became annoyed with them. Rich people and I don’t get along well. Since I’m a nomad I tend to not know who celebrities are and for some reason that annoys the crap out of them, but I chose to live off the grid with nothing but clothes in a small flowery wheely suitcase and a satchel with a book and my uke, so I never know who anyone is.

I rolled my eyes as I saw them sit in the seats not far down from me and their men in black sat around them. The boy with curly hair gave me a smile and I glared grabbing my stuff and moving to the other side of the waiting area and dropping it down. Then I took a seat on the floor and kicked my feet up on my case, pulled out my uke again. The men looked confused by my reaction and I faintly heard one ask, “What’s wrong with her?” I glanced up at the voice to see the shortest of them leaning over to the curly haired one. 

“I don’t know, Louis.” Curly replied.

I glared again, “I can hear you.” I growled.  All the boys looked at me and I shook my head and turned back to my uke, strumming the same chords as before. “No roots to hold me down, no roots in the ground. They try to silence me, but I still have my creativity. Don’t try to hold me down, I won’t be earthbound. I’ve got no roots in the ground, my soul will make sound. I am like the Mad Hatter, there’s nothing good in getting madder. I’m a nomad, my soul is on a launching pad. 3-2-1 I guess it ain’t that bad.” I strummed a bit more and came to an end to the song.

“You should write that down.” A voice came from the group of guys. 

I looked up to see the faux blonde one looking at me with a smile. “Thanks…”

“Niall.”

“Thanks, Niall, but I never write any of my songs down. If I write it down then I will remember it and if I remember it then the song will always be the same.” I smiled.

The group looked confused and I chuckled to myself. I must be a new sight for them, because I am probably different from anyone they have met. They all looked at each other and back to me.

“What does that mean?” Louis asked.

“Well, Louis, a song is something beautiful and it should come from the heart. If you sing a song more than once the song down it will never be sung with the same feeling as when you sang it first. It will lose its beauty. The same tune could have a different song in a similar fashion to ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star’ also being the ‘ABCs’. However, when you sing one of those songs that tune will only have those lyrics. If I don’t remember these lyrics then I can always have a new song because I will always be writing new lyrics. Understand?” 

“I guess.” 

“Cool.” I stood up and placed my uke back into its case in my bag and grabbed my small wallet, sliding it into the deep front pocket of my cargo pants. Then I grabbed my bag and pulled out the handle, wheeling it to the receptionist to check it in. I felt like adventure now and I don’t think I will get it sitting in this airport. I handed her both of my bags and smiled, saying thank you, all the while the guys watched me. 

After checking in my bag I walked to stand in front of the boys, “I don’t know you, you guys don’t know me, but I am bored as fuck and don’t want to stay here much longer. Care to join me on a tour of the ‘City of Angels’ while we try to kill this 18 hour layover?” I smiled. Three out of four boys nodded enthusiastically, only to be stopped by a voice cutting their happiness short.

“Guys, we don’t know who she is and this band has been broken up for two years. Imagine what would happen if we were spotted all together. There would be rumors.” a guy with an arrow looking tattoo spoke. I tilted my head at them.

“Band?” I questioned.

“You seriously don’t know who we are?!” Louis asked in shock.

“I’m a nomad. I own no phone or computer. All my belongings are in the two bags I just gave to the receptionist. Plus, I hate newspapers and magazines, they are full of lies and bias stories written to stir up drama.”

“We were One Direction, but now we are solo artists… We are getting the band back together and using Harry’s performance in Japan to announce it.” Niall said and pointed at the curly haired boy.

“Oh. Well, are ya’ll up for an adventure or are you going to sit here like this stick in the mud?” I asked pointing at arrow tattoo.

“My name is Liam.”

“Sorry, I have a condition where I can’t hear buzzkills.” I smirk.

The rest of the guys all laughed and Liam glared at me with an anger so hot it could melt cheese, but I just continued to smile with an innocent smile. I brushed my hands on my pants. “So… We gonna do this?”

“Yeah!” The guys yelled and Louis grabbed Liam’s arms and put them in the air in a forced cheer position. 

Liam glared.

  
_That’s how this Shit-fest started._


	2. Chapter 2: "The World's Largest" (Maya's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics mean the character is breaking the fourth wall and talking directly to the reader.

_ Never, and I mean never get involved in a drinking contest with a Russian and an Irishman. I promise you, it will not go well. Perhaps if I had followed that advice, I wouldn’t be here right now. Where is here? Well, currently, I’m the one with the red hair, falling out of a messy bun. See me? Yeah the one using a random boy’s shirt as a pillow, curled up on a couch. The one only wearing one shoe, the other one hiding under a pile of beer bottles. Yep, that’s me. Not my proudest moment, I might add. It could be worse though… I could have lost the drinking competition, at least I have that small sliver of my dignity to hold on to.  _

_ How did I get here, in a room full of the drunken members of One Direction, and my new best friend? Well, this crazy story starts with a series of unfortunate events at none other than my least favorite place, LAX.  _

  
  


I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting in the never ending security line. When my turn finally arrived, I quickly untied my Converse and threw them in the gray bin, along with my watch, my phone, and my wallet. I threw my small carry on bag and my guitar case on the conveyor belt closely behind. I pushed my items through the security check, stepping forward to be scanned. Of course I had to be stuck behind yet another angry, impatient asshole. I was already behind schedule, thanks to a talkative Uber driver and me having to talk my way past some unruly tourists who were convinced I could help them find their destination. It was just my luck to be trapped in security, ten minutes before my flight is set to board. When the dude in front of me finally stops arguing, I step forward, through the scanner, thankfully not setting it off. I mumble a thanks to the security manager standing nearby, and run to grab my bag. I slip on my converse, not  bothering to tie them and sling my guitar case over my shoulder. I barely grab my small rolling bag before taking off running. I hear the announcement as I’m sprinting across the LAX; “Flight 374 to Wisconsin now boarding.” I let out a string of expletives. Gaining the stares of several nearby people. 

When I finally reach the terminal, it’s empty except for the receptionist at the desk. I sprint up to her, audibly panting. “Hi, I have a ticket for this flight,” I say, practically throwing my ticket at her.

“The last passengers just boarded, I’m afraid there is no more room on this flight, but I can book you another-”

“Yes, please! Anything!” I cut her off. 

“Let me look,” she trailed off, turning to her computer. “The next flight leaves tomorrow afternoon.”

“No, you don’t understand! I NEED-”

“I’m sorry, Ma'am, all the other flights are booked.” She told me, clearly frustrated. I didn’t care! I need to get on that plane, I have plans! I glare at the woman, trying to think of ways to change her mind. 

“... Have I mentioned how beautiful you look,” I look down, examining her well put together outfit. “In that blouse, absolutely stunning!” I smirk with pleading eyes.

“Thanks. But flattery won’t get you anywhere. All I can do is put you on tomorrow’s flight.” 

I sigh, “But I have plans, you see, I have a schedule!” I pull out my notebook, opening it in front of her. Inside is a carefully laid out schedule of states and their cheesiest tourist attractions. I point to Wisconsin’s spot on the page. “I’m heading to the World’s Largest Six Pack of Beer! And then I’m off to the World’s Largest Soup Kettle, farther down in Wisconsin, ” I continued “It started in my hometown of Rockwell Beach, Oregon. Home of the World’s Largest Corn Dog. After highschool, I took a gap year, that year turned into two years, and now here I am, in LAX, TRYING to travel the United States.” I always had loved traveling, and had decided school wasn’t the best choice for me, at least not right away. I always loved going to the cheesy corn dog display and the odd connectedness with the other tourists hanging around it. I decided that I was going to search for that place in every state in America, and maybe then, the world.”

“So…” I continue, after awkwardly spilling my life story to the poor receptionist, “Is there any way I can make a sooner flight?” I ask.

She just looks at me, shaking her head, silently begging me to stop talking. I let out one more sigh, before walking away. Not knowing what else to do, I dramatically throw my bag on to a nearby seat, and plop down next to it. I slip my guitar off my back and pull it out of its case,  flipping to a page of music that I had sloppily written the night before. I absentmindedly strum, humming the lyrics I had written, occasionally stopping to add more scribbles. 

Lost in my world of music, I hardly notice the group of four boys, and an over excited girl approaching me. 

“Hey you!” The girl yelled at me, “Girl with the guitar!” I look up, unsure if she was shouting for me. I give a small awkward wave towards the group.

“Yeah! You!” She screams running up to me,  “You should join us.”

“Me?” I question. “I don’t even know you! What if you try to kidnap me or something! I have plans! I don’t want to die at the hand of some randos in an airport!”

“I’m Esme Miyumi. This is… One Direction… apparently. We are just about to visit some of the sites here while we wait for our next flight. You should join us. We won’t be going that far, we’ll probably stay in the area. ”

“Wait… One Direction as in…” Getting a closer look at the boys, I recognize them from the posters plastered around my little sister’s bedroom. “My sister is obsessed with you!”

“Obsessed? Well, that’s scary. I never understood  the need to become obsessed with materialistic things, no offense Buzzkill. “ She says leaning over to the one I faintly remember being called Liam.

“Yeah… She’s a typical thirteen year old, quite the opposite to how I was at her age... Anyways,” I trail off, “I suppose I’ll join you, I quite literally have NOTHING to do until late tomorrow and I do love some good old sightseeing.” I say, shooting a look at the receptionist. I start to put my guitar and notebook away, standing to join them.  

“Good then let us head out those mysterious  doors and out into the cruel, unforgiving City of Angels!” She yelled raising her fist dramatically and faking a Shakespearean English accent. I laugh, moving to shake her hand. 

“I’m Maya by the way, Maya Ellis.” I sling my guitar over my shoulder, grabbing my bags.

“If only you had  that in a James Bond accent.” the girl sighed, grabbing a hold of… Harry’s arm and dragging him out the motion sensored doors. I follow the group away, smiling. Well this sure will be more of an adventure than I originally planned. 

Once exiting the door, Esme let go of Harry’s arm and walked over to a giant cement cylinder, climbing up to stand on it looking around. Groaning, she placed her index finger and thumb in her mouth and whistled a loud whistle for a cab, one pulled up with in minutes after the high pitched noise. 

 

_ And with that, I had unknowingly embarked on a life changing journey. Several broken laws, tears, and songs later, here I am. Drunk as hell, on a strangers couch.  _

 

_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-written by my best friend Lily


	3. Chapter 3: "Coffee Conundrum" (Esme's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics mean character is breaking 4th wall and talking directly to the reader.

When the cab pulled up and I turned to our new little group with a smile. I already knew this was going to be fun. We were all probably gonna get super fucked up tonight, many lives will change. “Okay, guys, hop in the cab. We got places to go and things to see.” I smiled.

“Before we do anything else, I NEED some coffee!” Maya exclaimed, climbing into the cab. 

I smiled. This Maya girl seems like my type of girl. “Whatever you say, my darling.” I smirk, getting my flirt on. Maya gave a little blush and I chuckled climbing into the back seat after Harry and Louis climbed in. The back of the small yellow cab only had three seats so I found myself sitting half on Harry’s lap and half on Louis, both boys were smiling as if they were the sun and their smiles were the rays of sunshine. Niall and Maya had situated to Maya sitting on his lap. “You’re in the front, Buzzkill!” I yelled at Liam who was still standing on the curb with a displeased face.

“This is dangerous… and illegal!” Liam said with that same judgemental look.

“Come on man! You only have one life to live and I think this would be the best way to spend this night. Unless you want to pay for two cabs,” he shook his head, “Then I suggest you just get in the damn cab.”

“Yeah, Come on, Liam! Let’s get this show on the road!” Maya cheered, as Liam finally got into the front seat, sulking. Maya led the group into a short fit of sarcastic applause at Liam’s appearance in the vehicle. 

“Okay. Cabbie, take us to whatever coffee shop is closest to the biggest event going on today.” Esme said in her sweetest kindest voice.

“Yes Ma'am” He said in a gruff scratchy voice.

Esme watched out the window as the urban jungle rushed by. People on bicycles were biking in the road and women were standing on street corners probably hoping for their lives to reenact some sort of rom-com movie where they would find the love of their lives. Watching all this made her flash to her childhood.

 

_ See, I grew up in the foster care system. My entire childhood was controlled by government. Where I stayed, where I ate, even where I went to school. None of my foster parents were good parents, all were obsessed with materialistic things and many of them would use the checks the government gave them for my food and clothes for things like magazines and movie subscriptions. One parent even went as far as using the money to go to a different concert every weekend.  _

_ My childhood wasn’t great. _

_ It all changed when I turned 18. I no longer felt the need to attach myself to life’s materialistic values and I became what I am today; a nomad. Nothing binds me and nothing makes me stay in one place. I can do what I want and live how I want. Nobody can stop me. _

 

My attention was drawn out of it’s depressed trap by Maya looking at me with a sad face. I felt a single tear slide down my cheek, but brushed it away with my sleeve before anyone but Maya saw it. Then I gave her my best fake happy smile.

“Hey, are you okay?” Maya said quietly, reaching over the boys to put her hand on my shoulder. 

All the boys looked at me expectantly, “Me? Yeah! I’m great. Just thinking of all the great things we are going to do!” I said in my best fake excitement look. The boys all smiled and nodded but Maya’s face dropped more. She gave me a knowing glance, dropping her hand back to her lap. I knew that she’d probably bring this up later, but continued to change the subject anyways. 

“Everyone out!” The cabbie spoke and we all clamored out onto the sidewalk in front of the coffee shop. He waited for one of us to give him money and I turned looking at the group expectantly. 

“I don’t have any money… I don’t do money. Money is evil. Anyone want to get the cab?” I said with an innocent smile. Maya jumps reaching for her wallet, before Liam stops her from paying. He reaches for his own, handing the cash to the driver, giving him a quick apology for our antics. He was a buzzkill. I shook my head, he may be a buzzkill, but at least he is a gentleman. “Thanks, Buzzkill!” He rolls his eyes at my comment, stepping forward to lead us into the cafe. 

“Please actually behave yourselves.” He grumbled, walking to the doors. 

“Yeah… Thanks, Dad.” Maya whispers to me, purposely loud enough for Liam to hear from the head of the group. We giggle, following close behind him. Once in the coffee shop we get in the short line to wait for our coffee.

The coffee shop wasn’t very large, but it was bustling with noise and people who were probably from the event nearby. Some people were covered in mud and standing, too afraid to dirty the nice golden wooden chairs placed around small glace tables, others were on their laptops typing or sitting across from each other on small little coffee dates. I smiled as a little noticed a couple holding hands and staring at each other lovingly. I reminded myself however that love can’t exist, most people in the world aren’t good.

I sighed taking a step forward in the line and watched as Maya ordered her coffee, “Uhm a venti Americano with no space please“ Once she was done she pulled out her wallet and paid for it. Then it was my turn. 

“Can I get a Venti Caramel Macchiato with Almond Milk, no foam, and extra Caramel Drizzle. Hold the whipped cream.” I smiled.

“ Four dollars and twenty cents.” The guy behind the register said.

I forgot that I don’t have money for a minute there. “Do you think I could get it on the house, please?” I gave a small smile and batted my eyelashes, placing my hand on top of his. He looked at me like I was crazy and shook his head.

“I’m gay.”

“Oh…. Um…” I turned to one of the boys behind me, “Liam…” I said giving him my best puppy dog face, “Liam would you be a gentleman and help a girl out?” Liam rolled his eyes and gave a huff, stepping in front of me he reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet. I smiled.

“Wait! You’re… You’re Liam PAYNE!” The boy squealed excitedly, “Omg! I love you guys!!!! You are all One Direction-”

“And the not so famous Maya Ellis and the beautiful Esme Miyumi!” Maya cut in.

“Okayyy, actually, on second thought she can have it on the house…” He said with a sly smile and I narrowed my eyes waiting for his condition, “But I want Harry Styles’ number.” He winked. Harry made a face that showed he thought that idea was horrifying and I turned to him with wide pleading eyes.

“Please, hun, would you help me out? I’ll love you forever and ever and ever.” I pleaded. He groaned pulling out a sharpie from his back pocket and wrote his number on the barista’s hand along with his autograph. Then he placed the sharpie in his pocket and ordered his drink. 

As we all sat down with our drinks, Harry’s phone pinged and he pulled it out with a groan, “This pinging is not going to stop. I can already tell.” We all laughed at him as he looked more and more miserable after each ping from his phone. I watched as the boy behind the counter talked to his co-workers, pointing at us occasionally. The girl looked highly disinterested and brushed him off going back to her work, however the boy just leaned on the counter resting his chin on his hands and staring at Harry with a crazy love sick look.

“So… Does anyone want to play some of those board games?” I pointed at a shelf in the corner and the group nodded. I got up from my seat and skirted around the mud covered people to the shelf and began to read the names of the boxes. When I got to the third one, I knew what we were going to play. I grabbed the skinny black box and carried it over to the table, plopping it in the middle. “Cards Against Humanity!” I smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-written by my best friend Lily


	4. Chapter 4: "We Are Terrible People" (Maya's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics mean the character is breaking the fourth wall and speaking directly to the audience.

“I love this game so much!” Esme said in excitement. I smiled as she set the game down on our group’s table. 

“Me too!” I said, a little bit over eager, “I played this all the time with my siblings… I always won!”

“I’ll take that as a challenge,” Niall responded with a smirk. 

“Deal!” I said, watching Esme remove the lid from the box. She carefully dealt the cards to each member of our table. Each card sliding directly in front of each person with such a smoothness it was as if she did this professionally. I looked at her in awe.

“Sometimes I run card scams. Money is evil, but I still need to eat.” She smiled, then took off one of her boots and she pulled a twenty dollar bill out. “I promise you, I just remembered I had this.”

“Okay, but let’s try to be nice.” Liam said with a wince after looking at the cards. Niall and I both groaned, rolling our eyes at him.

“The point of the game is literally to BE offensive, and I do not play nice!” I said, earning another glare from Liam. I turned over my cards, laughing with excitement. “Good luck, Buzzkill!” I smirked. 

  
  


_ Back home, before I left, I was usually stuck babysitting my younger siblings. We had a pretty rough childhood, and I did whatever I could to make life better for them. My younger sister Valentina, is sixteen now and my brother Alec is fourteen. When we had time to ourselves, I would try to provide distractions, and Cards Against Humanity happened to be perfect. It gave us a chance to laugh about all the shit going on in our lives. We could put our problems aside and have fun. Being the oldest and the most knowledgeable in the subject matter of the game, I found myself winning most of our games. I always knew what cards would be the funniest to each sibling, making it easy to win.  _

 

We decided to let Esme be the Czar first, and pick the first black card, “When I am President of the United States, I will create the department of .” She read. I giggled, looking down at my cards. I put my “homosexual agenda” card down. I waited as the boy’s put their cards down in front of Esme. Liam was the last person to put down a card. 

He shrugged “I think this is the least painful card I have. Sorry if it doesn’t make sense, Esme.” He said. 

“You’re really missing the point of this,” I said, rolling my eyes once again.

“I just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings!” He said defensively, earning a collective groan from the group. 

“Whatever, Buzzkill,” Esme muttered, flipping over the cards to read.

“When I am President of the United States, I will create the department of… ‘Forcing a handjob on a dying man,’ ‘Not giving a shit about the third world,’ ‘Discharging a firearm in a residential area,’ ‘The homosexual agenda,’ and ‘A nasty breakfast burrito…”

“Well, I know which one is Buzzkill’s.” Esme shook her head. 

Liam stared, wide eyed at the group, “Why did I agree to this? I can’t believe you guys.” he sighed. We all laughed in response. 

“Don’t worry Liam, it only gets worse from here.” Niall said, earning another sigh from Liam. 

“Handjob to a dying man!” Esme yells and the whole cafe gave our table a look. Liam look mortified, but everyone else erupted into giggles. Harry cheered for his victory.

It was Niall’s turn to judge next, and he was practically shaking with excitement. “Okay…” He started, “We never did find , but along the way we sure learned a lot about .” He read the card, trying not to laugh.

I grinned, looking down at my cards, immediately knowing which two to play. “I apologize in advance.” I said to Liam as I handed Niall my cards. Liam looked at me with an expression of confusion mixed with pure terror. I winked at him, smiling. 

Once everyone put down their cards, Niall began reading them aloud. “We never did find ‘A 55-gallon drum of lube’, but we learned about ‘the female orgasm.’ Oh man…” He started laughing before reading the next card, “We never did find ‘Ribs so good they transcended race and class’, but along the way we sure learned a lot about ‘Cannibalism.’ Shit.” Niall laughed, “We never did find ‘tentacle porn’ but we learned about ‘the entire internet.’ ‘We never did find ‘Grandpa’s ashes,’ But learned a lot about ‘Auschwitz.’ Oh my god, what the hell?” Niall burst out laughing “Okay…” He said, taking a deep breath, before laughing again “We didn’t find ‘Geese.’ But learned about, ‘A power point presentation.’ Liam! Why are you even playing this game?” Niall sighed, shaking his head.

“Because everyone else is and I don’t want to be left out.” He said with a cute kicked puppy look.

“Awe,” Esme said, “I’m sorry. Buzzkill.”

“Well, I have to give that card to ‘Auschwitz.’ Who even thought of that?” He laughed. I jumped out of my chair, grabbing the card from him with a huge grin.

“See why I apologized?” I asked Liam before sitting back down.

The barista from earlier walked by our table for the tenth time since we began the game. He moved to stand over Harry. “Mind if I join you?” We shared an awkward glance before Louis spoke up.

“Well, we already started the game… So maybe next round…” He trailed off, silently begging the man to leave. When he walked back to the counter, we picked back up. It was finally my turn to judge.  

“What ended my last relationship?” I read. “Be as offensive as possible,” I said with a laugh. I watched as everyone put down  their cards. “Alright!” I said, flipping the cards. “Oh no…” I started. “What ended my last relationship? ‘My worthless son,’ Okay then!” I laughed “Let’s see… What ended my last relationship? ‘Tom Baker in nothing but a scarf.’ Nice Doctor Who reference” I laughed. “Okay… “What ended my last relationship? ‘Boxing up my feelings’ Okay ’s accurate as hell ‘Multiple stab wounds’ and ‘Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes’ I can’t even guess which one is Liam’s this round, so good job!” I exclaimed, giggling. “I’m gonna have to go with ‘Multiple stab wounds’ because I like the implied murder.” I said holding up the black card. Louis cheered, grabbing it from me. 

The time passed rather quickly, each round worse than  the last and making each of us question each other’s integrity. We played several more uninterrupted rounds until the barista fuck boy came by again. He really wouldn’t leave Harry alone and I could see Esme was getting annoyed by his constant appearances. 

“I can’t take it anymore!” Harry whisper-yelled to the group as soon as the barista was back to the register. 

“Can we just end it here?” Liam asked quietly.

“No!” Niall and I exclaimed together. The two of us were still tied, neither of us wanting to lose to Louis, who currently held the most black cards. 

“You guys can fight later!” Esme said. “Let’s just end it here.”

We all stood up to walk to the door. “Are you leaving?” the barista asked, running over. 

“Yeah,” Esme said sweetly, taking Harry’s hand, “We were leaving, right Babe?”

“Um, yeah.” Harry said, his beautiful eyes widening.

“Call me!!” He shouted desperately as we walked out the doors to the cafe. The second we were out, we all burst into laughter. Harry glanced down at his and Esme’s hands that were still intertwined and smiled a small happy smile, but I think I’m the only one who noticed. Esme definitely didn’t as she began pulling him in the direction of nearby loud music and a small baked goods cart. The rest of us followed them close behind. 

“Brownies!” Esme yelled, “We’ll take six.” she smiled and handed over the twenty that she had found in her boot.

The cashier took the cash and handed her a brown bag, with the baked goods inside. “Thanks!” She shouted, distributing the brownies between us. I watched as Esme took a bite out of her’s.

“Is it good?” I asked

“Of course it’s good! It’s a brownie!” She exclaimed.

We all sat down together in the grassy field near the cart, to enjoy our treats. I looked around, my eyes settling back on the cart. I did what I suppose no one else had thought to do and read the sign hanging off of the stand. ‘Crazy Bakey’s Brownies, Get Baked with One Bite!’I instantly regretted eating my entire brownie in the two seconds it took to sit down. “Uhm guys…” I started, “You should look at that sign..” I trailed off awkwardly. 

Everyone was licking their fingers clean and glanced back at the cart.

“Shit.” We all said in unison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written by my best friend Lily


End file.
